'An eminent industrialist has gone on record as saying for that light bedside reading he prefers abstracts from accounts. For real enjoyment, however, he knows of no substitute for balance sheets. To those who like to drop off with a snatch of Dickens, Johnson, Fleming or Wodehouse this may sound strange, not to say bizarre. But further reflection may awaken a chord of sympathy, at least in the breasts of cricketers.
Doubtless to the tycoon a balance sheet has all the evocative qualities that a score card has to the devotee of Wisden. A hidden asset here is the unexpected century from a hitherto unknown batsman. There, a drop in the glorious uncertainty of the profit and loss account conjures up visions of a dashing take-over bid, perhaps made against the clock. A sizeable reserve against taxation keeps the board well padded up against the googlies and in-dippers of the corporation tax man. Having eagerly digested the whole year's play and approved the averages, the reader passes gently to dreams of audits, AGMs, scrip issues and, appropriately, beautiful flotations.
The drowsy cricketer, swaddled to the chin in eiderdown as the wind drives the hail against his bedroom window, achieves the same soporific Nirvana by thumbing through any issue of Wisden....One could go on all night but it is late. Sleep well. May your balance sheets and Wisden's bring you sweet dreams.'
[Ian Peebles, 'Bedside Statistics' in Ron Roberts (ed.) The Cricketer's Bedside Book (London, 1966)]
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Weekly Quiz Question 2
A fielder racing to stop a ball reaching the boundary bends over sharply to try to pick it up. As he does so his hat falls off and the ball rolls over it, slowing it down enough to stop it crossing the bounary. If you are the umpire, what do you decide?
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Pretty in Pink - Jane McGrath Day
Everything looks better in pink, well except for Vic Marks' pants and Mitchell Johnson's bowling.
Ear-witnesses at the SCG Paul Smith and Dave Godden heard the following chant from the Barmies at 01.29 GMT:
"he bowls to the left, he bowls to the right
That Mitchell Johnson, his bowling is sh*te"
at 01.30 GMT, Johnson bowled a wide.....impeccable timing.
P.S. Reports suggest that the SCG's chips are almost as crap as the Aussie bowlers - but not quite.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Day Two - Breaking News
'The Hoff' spotted at the SCG!
To the delight of cricket spectators everywhere Baywatch and Knight Rider star David Hasselhoff put in a surprise appearance on day two of the Sydney test yesterday and was treated to an absorbing day of test cricket. He also faced up to legendary spinner Shane Warne and heaved a couple of big shots away. Australian commentators Ian Healy, Ian Chappell and Bill Lawry wondered "Can he bowl?" as they lamented the desperate attempts of Australia's bowlers to make inroads into the England opening pair.
According to Australian newspapers, the Hoff also used his visit to Sydney to don his snazzy Baywatch shorts and strut down Bondi beach pursued by a bevvy of swimsuited babes. It seems he is over there on a sponsorship deal advertising ice-cream - what do you think Daniel, will the Hoff's endorsement tempt you to buy even more ice-cream.....? For those lucky chaps and chapesses who catch the Hoff at his next stop on the Gold Coast, they are surely in for a treat as he promised to be "hitting the beaches, handing out [ice creams] and living large". Perhaps veteran commentator Geoffrey Boycott will follow suit after declaring on TMS that the Hoff was 'a superstar all over the world' - clearly his fame has spread far and wide and his appearance will no doubt cheer the hearts of the flood-hit communities of Queensland.
To the delight of cricket spectators everywhere Baywatch and Knight Rider star David Hasselhoff put in a surprise appearance on day two of the Sydney test yesterday and was treated to an absorbing day of test cricket. He also faced up to legendary spinner Shane Warne and heaved a couple of big shots away. Australian commentators Ian Healy, Ian Chappell and Bill Lawry wondered "Can he bowl?" as they lamented the desperate attempts of Australia's bowlers to make inroads into the England opening pair.
According to Australian newspapers, the Hoff also used his visit to Sydney to don his snazzy Baywatch shorts and strut down Bondi beach pursued by a bevvy of swimsuited babes. It seems he is over there on a sponsorship deal advertising ice-cream - what do you think Daniel, will the Hoff's endorsement tempt you to buy even more ice-cream.....? For those lucky chaps and chapesses who catch the Hoff at his next stop on the Gold Coast, they are surely in for a treat as he promised to be "hitting the beaches, handing out [ice creams] and living large". Perhaps veteran commentator Geoffrey Boycott will follow suit after declaring on TMS that the Hoff was 'a superstar all over the world' - clearly his fame has spread far and wide and his appearance will no doubt cheer the hearts of the flood-hit communities of Queensland.
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Weekly Quiz Question
A batsman's bat breaks in half mid-shot. He trips on the piece of broken blade, knocking it back into the stumps. Is he out hit wicket?
Good work Andy, the answer is "yes" he's out, hit wicket. If, in playing a shot or setting off for a run, any part of a batsman's person or equipment breaks the wicket then he's out on appeal. But it would have been better - if there was time - to signal 'dead ball' once you realised neither batsman was looking for a run. That might have stopped the striker tripping on the bat and breaking his wicket.
Good work Andy, the answer is "yes" he's out, hit wicket. If, in playing a shot or setting off for a run, any part of a batsman's person or equipment breaks the wicket then he's out on appeal. But it would have been better - if there was time - to signal 'dead ball' once you realised neither batsman was looking for a run. That might have stopped the striker tripping on the bat and breaking his wicket.
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